Love

How to Know When You’re Ready to Start Dating Again After a Bad Breakup

Have you had a breakup recently? Are you wondering if it might be time to enter the dating pool again? 

Companionship is an inherent need for many people. There are lots of us that want the support of a partner as we navigate life’s journeys. After a bad breakup, however, there is the fear of not knowing when it is appropriate to move on.

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After all, starting to date again before it is time could lead to disastrous consequences, not just for you, but the person you’ve decided to enter into an ill-fated relationship with. It might even set back your emotional recovery from the initial breakup. 

Luckily, there are some signs you can look for to point to when it might be okay for you to enter the dating scene again. Below are just a few of the ways you can tell that you’re going to be okay to enter into another relationship.

The Wild Bouts of Crying for No Reason Have Ceased

After the tumultuous end of a relationship, there may be times you are going about your day and find yourself sobbing for no apparent reason. You weren’t thinking about your ex or the split, but you ended up spilling tears anyway.

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After an unfortunate end to a partnership, many people find that the smallest inconveniences or hassles can send them into an emotional tailspin. 

When you’ve gone a period of time without that happening, it could be a sign that you might be able to entertain dating again. Even if you aren’t ready to jump into anything serious, it is a sign that the emotional equilibrium you need to be a committed partner in a relationship is, at least, on the way back.

You’re at Peace with Being Alone

It’s entirely reasonable for you to want to spend your life with a committed partner that offers love and support, but after a bad breakup, it is never a good idea to hop right back into dating someone new. Being okay with being single is a great way to tell that you might be ready to start looking at meeting someone new.

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After a harsh split, individuals may want to enjoy time catching up with friends or exploring some individual interests.

The period after you end a relationship can be a great time to rediscover who you are, so you can be clear about what you need in your next relationship. It may also be a good idea to check in with a therapist so you can process your feelings about your breakup.

Time Passes and You Realize You Haven’t Thought About Your Ex

There is a high probability that if you just experienced a bad breakup, your ex has a starring role in your current thoughts. It is understandable. When you’ve split with someone, emotions are still running quite hot, and you may be replaying the end of the relationship over and over in your mind. While this is a relatively normal part of a split, a sign that you may be ready to move on is when you have gone several days without your ex crossing your mind.

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Essentially, the longer you have gone without obsessing or thinking about your ex, or your relationship is an excellent indicator of how ready you are to move onto finding someone new.

You Find Yourself Attracted to Someone New

Have you begun to check out the legs on an attractive neighbor? Do your local mailman’s broad shoulders have you a little breathless? If you’ve started to feel yourself reawaken sexually, it may be a great sign that you might be ready to move past your old relationship.

A typical reaction to a breakup might be to completely lose interest in your sexual side. Feeling that spark come alive again could be the impetus you need to explore the possibility of dating. Be sure to ask yourself if you are attracted to the person or if you just want comfort. 

 If you are just seeking out comfort or solace in the arms of another person, it could lead to more unhappiness and pain.

Owning Up to Your Part in the Breakup is Something You Can Do

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When a split is messy, there may be the tendency to demonize your ex. You may be hurt, angry, stressed, and sad beyond belief. 

For some, one of the easiest ways of dealing with that pain is to make the ex-partner the “bad” person in their relationship. After the dust has settled, the reasons behind the end of your relationship might become more apparent. For most failed relationships, there is enough blame to go around on both sides. 

Being able to objectively look at your past partnership and see the things you did to contribute to the end of it may be proof that you have healed enough to let another person into your life romantically. Ownership of your flaws in that relationship, and recognizing they contributed to its demise, may help you not repeat the same mistakes with your next partner.

The “Hatred” You Felt Has Now Gone Away

Did you feel a burning “hatred” for your ex at the end of your relationship? Did you find yourself going into some pretty dark places when thinking about them after your breakup?

Some folks who experience a highly emotional split find themselves hating not only their exes but the entire gender to which they belong. You may be able to tell you’re doing this if you say to your friends that all men/women are the same.

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Once you can think of your ex, or their gender, without it sending you into a rage, it might be okay for you to venture out and meet someone new. Being angry at your ex, or the gender they belong to, and trying to date is only inviting the ghost or your past relationship to wreak havoc on any attempt at love.

Your Motives for Wanting to Date Are Pure

It may not be a proud moment, but many people who have gone through a bad breakup may instantly want to jump into another relationship to make their ex jealous. They want to inflict the same kind of hurt on their past significant other that they are now feeling. Of course, connections that are established out of these motives are not built to last. By the same token, trying to find another partner shortly after a breakup because you are lonely is not destined to end well.

If you are looking for a sign that you are ready to leap into a healthy relationship again, it might be when you find yourself excited to meet someone new for the right reasons, like the genuine excitement of meeting someone new. 

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When you are ready, excited, and open to being vulnerable and loving to a new person, you may finally be ready to move on.

Do the Hard Work and Ask the Tough Questions

It may be a cliché, but time does have healing properties. If you’ve experienced a bad breakup, give yourself the time to grieve it and center yourself. Get to know who you are again and seek out the assistance of a therapist.

Once you’ve done the work you need to do to get yourself in a good place again, you’ll truly be ready and open to giving love another chance.

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