Love

How to Save Your Marriage

Marriage is a special union where two people who love each other vow to dedicate the rest of their lives to one another. However, marriage isn’t always an easy process for some. 

You may experience much trial and tribulation within your marriage that discourages you from continuing on. Common reasons for marital issues include poor communication, boredom, jealousy, financial problems, a difference in values, and more. 

marital problemsSource: Shutterstock

If you and your spouse are dealing with some marital problems, you could try ways to save your marriage. 

Here are some suggestions.

Be Honest

In a marriage, you make vows and commitments to your partner. Be transparent with your spouse at all times. When we are dishonest to our partner, it creates a sense of distrust and animosity. To be honest with others, we must first be honest with ourselves. Ask yourself why you have certain tendencies, habits, and beliefs. When you relearn yourself, you can express your needs better to your significant other.

Get Counseling

Seeking therapy is an excellent method for saving a marriage. However, try not to wait until the marriage is on its final and last leg. 

marriage counsellingSource: Shutterstock

Marriage counseling gets a bad reputation because it isn’t seen as an effective means of saving a marriage. This is primarily the case because most couples wait until it is too late to get counseling. 

Marriage counseling should be used as a preventative measure instead of a last resort. By getting counseling, you and your partner will get to hear objective perspectives regarding your relationship. You will also be given the tools needed to practice mindful communication, empathy, and compassion.

Date Each Other

Some couples can attest to experiencing boredom within their relationship. This is especially true for those in longer marriages. You and your partner shouldn’t internalize this but seek to find innovative solutions. Have a date night or do something spontaneous. This will bring the energy and spice back to your relationship. 

married couples datingSource: Shutterstock

Try to get out of your usual everyday environment. Couples often get comfortable with their routines, and the need to date may seem unnecessary to some. However, dating your spouse will help bring back the intimacy, romance, and passion.

The Importance of Space

 “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Take inventory of your time and energy. How much time and energy are you putting into supporting your spouse? Perhaps you give so much to your spouse that you tend to neglect yourself. Spending a lot of time around your spouse can become a bit repetitive and stagnant. It can also make your partner feel smothered and anxious.

couplesSource: Shutterstock

As much as we need to support our loved ones, remember to keep time for yourself. You are not your relationship. Find hobbies and passions that get you excited. Pour yourself into new ventures that fulfill you.

Balance Responsibilities

Maintain fairness within the relationship. If you live with your spouse, ensure that the responsibilities are delegated fairly. When one person takes on too many tasks, this can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion.

If you or your partner aren’t feeling supported, animosity can likely manifest and create resentment. Have a discussion with your husband or wife about your expectations.

couples household choresSource: Shutterstock

When responsibilities are balanced, each person feels secure, heard, understood, appreciated, and supported.

Seek Self-Improvement

As stated previously, marriage counseling is a great way to save your relationship. However, you should also seek self-improvement. Some people come into relationships looking for their “other half.” We should not seek completion in others but seek wholeness within ourselves. If you approach your relationship feeling that you’re incomplete, you may likely find some level of codependency occurring.

Codependency can mean attaching your identity to the relationship, smothering your spouse, or seeking constant reassurance.

couples doing things togetherSource: Shutterstock

Getting therapy for yourself, without your partner, will help you pinpoint unresolved traumas and more. When you are aware of your traumas and triggers, you are mindful of negative thought patterns and projections.

Reintroduce Humor

Stop being so serious! It is okay to smile while working on your marital problems. Make jokes at appropriate times to diffuse the tense energy. Humor helps many people weather the storm.

couples playingSource: Shutterstock

If you aren’t the best comedian, then watch a show or movie with comedy in it. Laughing reduces cortisol levels in our body, minimizing stress, allowing us to think clearer, and solve problems.

All in all, both you and your partner want to feel loved and appreciated. By making self-improvement and mindfulness your focus, you and your spouse grow together. Trust, love, and respect are all developed. However, these things also must be maintained if you want to save your marriage.

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